As The Years Go By
by Lori2279
Summary: Jordan's got a secret.....
1. Chapter 1

Title: As The Years Go By  
  
Author: Lori (soap_queen@hotmail.com)  
  
Classification: Future Fic  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. But if the writers are out there and they want to give me Woody I won't say no.  
  
Author's Notes: This is my very first Crossing Jordan fic. I hope you like it. ============================================================  
  
Lily Lebowski-Vijayaraghavensatyanaryanamurthy closed her filing cabinet and gave the key a twist, locking it up for the night. She yawned. Three months pregnant and she was already starting to feel the strain.  
  
"Night Lily," Nigel Townsend said poking his head in and waving.  
  
"Night Nige. Going home?"  
  
"Thought I'd stop and see Jordan at the bar. Max's anniversary was yesterday."  
  
"Yeah I know. Bug and I stopped there for dinner yesterday. The kids ate with us while Jordan talked to some of the retirees that had stopped by."  
  
"How'd she seem?" Nigel asked.  
  
"Okay. I mean it was only a year ago that Max had that heart attack. But I think she's handling things better now and have you seen Jesse and Max? I swear Jesse looks just like Jordan."  
  
"That she does," Nigel agreed. "But young Max looks like-"  
  
"Don't tell Jordan that."  
  
"I'm sure she notices."  
  
"Oh, I know she does but no one wants to come right out and say it. Jordan's dad was the only one who could get away with it and even then Jordan hated hearing it."  
  
"I think I'd hate hearing it too."  
  
"Yeah me too. You seen Bug?"  
  
"He's in trace helping Garrett."  
  
Lily nodded, "Okay. I hope he's done soon. I want to go home and put my feet up."  
  
Nigel smiled. "See you in the morning Lily."  
  
"Night."  
  
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~  
  
Jordan Cavanaugh was not at the bar she'd inherited from her father.  
  
The dark-haired bar owner and part-time M.E. was instead at the home she'd inherited and now occupied making brownies for her daughter, Jesse's, Valentine's Day party at school the next day.  
  
Jesse Emily Cavanaugh was sitting on a stool watching her mother bake while her brother Max was sitting at the table drawing.  
  
"Okay who wants the bowl and who wants the spoon?"  
  
"I got the spoon last time," Max signed to his mother.  
  
"So that means it's Jesse's turn?" Jordan signed back  
  
The brown-haired little girl nodded, "Yes it is."  
  
"Okay then. Here you go," she handed the spoon to her daughter and gave the bowl to her son. Then she put the brownies into the oven and set the timer. "After you two are down with those put them in the sink and go get ready for bed."  
  
"Okay Mom," Max agreed. He was the one that listened. Jesse was more like Jordan; stubborn and pigheaded. She was the one who always ran headlong into trouble.  
  
Max Sr. said that Jesse and Jordan proved the saying 'Like mother, like daughter.'  
  
Jordan frowned at the clock when her doorbell rang. "Don't move Jesse," she said to her daughter when the little girl showed signs of moving for the door to see who it was. "You two stay here. I'm gonna go see who it is."  
  
Jordan made her way to the door and flipped on the porch light. She looked through the window and smiled. It was Nigel.  
  
She pulled open the door, "Hi Nige. What's up?"  
  
"I wanted to see you. So I went by the bar but you weren't there. The lovely Tess told me you'd gone home to bake."  
  
"C'mon in. I had to make brownies for Jesse's class at school tomorrow. The kids are still up," she moved aside and let Nigel enter. Then she called, "Jesse, come in here and bring your brother. Uncle Nige is here."  
  
The two five year olds ran in a few seconds later. "Unca Nige!" Jesse shrieked throwing herself at him. Jesse worshipped Nigel. He knew all the best games and where to find the best computer games.  
  
Max was just as crazy about Nigel but he was more cautious. He waited till Jesse had finished squeezing Nigel before he poked her as a reminder that he wanted a turn to hug Nigel as well. Jesse frowned a little but she moved aside to let her brother in on the hug.  
  
Jordan smiled as she went in the kitchen and let Nigel and the kids play a little. He was good for them. They loved him and he loved them. He'd been around more the last year since her dad had died. So had Garrett and Bug for that matter. She put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher and wiped down the counter. She was about to turn off the light and go into the living room when Nigel entered.  
  
"I sent the little nippers off to bed," he said sitting at the kitchen table.  
  
"Thanks," Jordan smiled.  
  
"You work tomorrow right?"  
  
"Yep," the brown-haired woman nodded. Then there was silence. It grew till Jordan couldn't take it anymore. "I'm okay, you know."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Right. That's why you're here checking up on me," Jordan poured them both a glass of wine.  
  
"I am not checking up on you," Nigel protested.  
  
"Liar," Jordan teased.  
  
"Alright maybe I'm checking up on you a little," Nigel admitted.  
  
"Uh-huh," Jordan murmured as they went into the living room and sat on the couch, making themselves comfy. "Garret called me yesterday to ask if I wanted to have dinner. When I said no, he showed up for lunch."  
  
Nigel smiled. "Our fearless leader worries for you."  
  
"I know," Jordan smiled. "But I'm okay, really. It's a bad day yeah but I'm getting through it. The kids help. So do you guys," She smiled.  
  
Nigel smiled too. It'd been a rough year but he was beginning to see some of that Cavanaugh spark return to Jordan's eyes and for that he was glad. 


	2. Chapter 2

This Chapter is for SpookyAnne who asked about our boy. _____________________________________________________________________  
  
Ch 2  
  
Jordan sipped at her coffee while she looked over her cases for the day. There was nothing out of the ordinary. She sometimes missed her status as resident conspiracy theorist but keeping herself alive and able to be home at a decent hour was more important these days.  
  
She smiled a little at her thoughts. Scary how much she sounded like her dad sometimes.  
  
"Jordan?" Emmy poked her head in. "Dr. Macy wants you to take an O.D. down at the docks. He says he'll owe you till the end of time if you'll take it. Peter and Bug are out on cases and Nigel is in trace. Dr. Macy would take it but he promised to meet Abby for breakfast after her eight o'clock."  
  
Jordan sighed. "Yeah, alright Emmy. Tell him I've got it and let Nigel know I'm gonna want help when I get back."  
  
"You got it."  
  
Jordan got up and grabbed her bag. She fished out her car keys and headed out the door.  
  
~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~  
  
Peter Winslow had his photographer snap a final picture of the body before the camera was put away. He went over to the officer that had been placed in charge till the detectives showed up.  
  
"When can we move him to the morgue?"  
  
"As soon as the detectives give the okay. They just got here. I think the new guy is in charge," Officer Jerry Wilson said.  
  
"New guy?" Peter questioned. He did not feel like dealing with some wet behind the ears detective who'd had his shield for about as long as it had taken Peter to digest his breakfast that morning.  
  
"Just transferred from Chicago. He used to work here a few years back. His name starts with an 'H'," Jerry made a face in concentration. "Huck? Hock?"  
  
"Hoyt," a voice interrupted.  
  
Peter turned around and resisted the urge to deck the detective staring at him.  
  
"Peter, right? Good to see you again," Woody smiled.  
  
Peter didn't. "Well, well. The man himself. How are you Woody? Break anyone's heart lately?"  
  
Woody stiffened. He knew coming back to Boston meant facing a lot of ghosts but he didn't expect to be reminded of them on his first case and especially not from Dr. Peter Winslow.  
  
"Let's keep this on a professional level, okay?" Woody said quietly.  
  
"Sure. And in keeping with that, my professional advice is to let one of the other detectives pick up any information from the morgue. That is unless you feel like getting your face rearranged," Peter smiled. "Wagon's waiting outside. I'll send the guys up to move the body." Peter exited.  
  
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~  
  
"Hey Lily, you seen Macy?" Peter asked when he saw Lily at reception.  
  
"In his office," the grief counselor replied. "Something wrong?"  
  
"You could say that. You're gonna wanna hear this too. Bug back yet?" He asked moving down the hall.  
  
"No," Lily followed him.  
  
"Where's Jordan?"  
  
"Garret sent her down to the docks for an O.D."  
  
"Good. Hopefully that will take a while."  
  
"Peter? What's going on?" Lily asked as they reached Garret's office.  
  
"You might wanna get Nigel. He'll want to hear this too."  
  
"I'll want to hear what?" Nigel asked. "Is Jordan back yet? I'm supposed to give her a hand with her O.D."  
  
"No," Peter knocked on Garret's office door.  
  
"Come in."  
  
"Garret? You busy?" Peter poked his head in.  
  
"No. C'mon in.everyone," he finished after Peter, Lily, and Nigel piled into his office. "Okay. What's going on?"  
  
"That's what I want to know," Lily said. "Peter, it's not nice to torture a pregnant woman."  
  
"But it can be really fun," Nigel said, a devilish glint in his eyes. "Remember-"  
  
"Nigel," Garret interrupted. "Not now. Peter?"  
  
"The case today? The gun shot victim?"  
  
"Yeah. What about it? Was it someone we knew?"  
  
"Oh no," Peter said. "Nothing like that."  
  
"Then what?"  
  
"The uniforms were first on scene. They were there waiting for the detectives to show. They didn't till I was finished with the pre-lim."  
  
"And? Peter, get to the point," Lily said impatiently.  
  
"The detective in charge was Woody," Peter said and then he waited.  
  
He wasn't disappointed. His co-workers all started to talk at once.  
  
"What?!?"  
  
"Son of a bitch. Nigel, where's that pistol you found on the admit from the park last night? I want to borrow it. I'll get off. My hormones are out of whack."  
  
"Bloody hell. Who does that limey bastard think he is? Just waltzing right back into the thick of things like nothing ever happened. I'll kill him if I see him walking these halls."  
  
"We can't tell Jordan."  
  
"Garret," Lily sounded incredulous. "We have to tell her. What if she's walking down the hall and slams into him? He'll know she's surprised to see him and he'll purposely tell her that Peter knew he was back."  
  
"Lily's right," Nigel said. "Someone has to tell her."  
  
"I'll do it." Garret said. "When she gets back, tell her to come see me."  
  
"I will," Nigel agreed. "Get ready, she shouldn't be to much longer."  
  
"And I better tell Bug," Lily said. "I'll tell him to keep it quiet for now."  
  
"I appreciate that Lily," Garret said.  
  
"Sure," Lily nodded.  
  
~&~&~&~&~&~&~  
  
"Jordan, glad I caught you before you changed," Nigel said, catching Jordan outside of the women's locker room.  
  
"What's up Nige?"  
  
"Macy wants to talk to you. He's not mad. He just wants to see you."  
  
"Okay. Can you start without me?"  
  
"Sure," Nigel said. "I'll be okay."  
  
"Be there as soon as I can," Jordan dug out her notes. "Here. Those are from the scene."  
  
"Great. Thanks."  
  
Jordan headed for Garret's office. He was sitting in his chair listening to Coltrane.  
  
"Feeling contemplative?" Jordan asked.  
  
Garret turned around. "Come on in. Shut the door."  
  
"What'd I do?" Jordan said after she shut the door behind her.  
  
"What? Oh, no, nothing. Don't worry. Take a seat."  
  
"Okay, now I'm worried," Jordan said as she took the seat in front of Garret's desk. "What's up?"  
  
"Peter gave me some news before. He ran into someone at the scene he was at this morning."  
  
"Anyone we know?"  
  
"It was Woody."  
  
In the back of Jordan's mind she heard something. It wasn't till later that'd she'd identify it as the sound of the bottom dropping out from under her. "Woody? Really? Wow. That must have been a surprise."  
  
"Yeah, I suppose it was." Garret carefully studied his friend. "Jordan?"  
  
"Could you give Nigel a hand? I feel a little funky. I wanna lie down for a bit."  
  
"Jordan, you can-"  
  
"I just want to lie down for a little bit," she reiterated.  
  
"Okay," Garret nodded. "Take all the time you need."  
  
"Thanks," Jordan left Garret's office and went to her own. She closed the door behind her and leaned back against it. She tried to get her breathing under control before she hyperventilated.  
  
This was not happening, this was not happening, this was- Oh who was she kidding? Garret wouldn't lie about this.  
  
She bit her lip in thought for a moment and then she went for the phone. She dialed a number she hadn't dialed in a long time.  
  
"Dr. Stiles? It's Jordan. Do you have some time today?" 


	3. Chapter 3

Dr. Stiles frowned as he watched Jordan fidget in her chair. He'd known Jordan for a number of years and the one thing she'd never done in his presence was fidget. But here she was, biting her nails and moving around in the seat as if to find a comfortable position.  
  
When she finally stopped she looked over at him and tried to smile.  
  
"So, what brings you here today?" He asked.  
  
"Some news I got this morning," Jordan said.  
  
"And what was that?"  
  
"There was a murder over on the North Side. Peter got the case. He ran into an old friend."  
  
"Someone he knows?"  
  
"Someone I know. Someone I used to know, anyway."  
  
"What's their name?"  
  
"Woodrow Hoyt."  
  
"Woody's back in Boston."  
  
"Yeah. Peter told Garret and Garret told me. I haven't seen him."  
  
"Woody?"  
  
"Yeah," Jordan got up and went to the window.  
  
"Do you want to?"  
  
"Do I want to see him?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Not sure," she said. "Sometimes I picture myself walking right into him on the street somewhere and not feeling anything."  
  
"What did you feel before?"  
  
She turned, "Before?"  
  
"Before Woody left."  
  
"I loved him," Jordan said. "When he told me about the job, he asked me to give him a reason to stay. I told him that I loved him. He didn't believe me."  
  
"Then what?"  
  
"I went to his apartment a few days later. He was gone. When I went home there was a note on the door. I never read it."  
  
"Ever?"  
  
"No. I didn't want to know what it said. I didn't want to hear his voice in my head saying the words."  
  
"What words do you think he wrote?"  
  
"Probably something like, he was sorry but he didn't feel that it was ever going to work with us and he needed to take the job so he could move forward instead of standing still."  
  
"But you didn't stand still. You had children."  
  
"His children," Jordan said softly as she sat back down. "And he has no idea."  
  
"He might find out. Most of the force knows you, knows who you were seeing back then, and now that he's back, it might only be a matter of time before Woody knows about Jesse and Max."  
  
"I don't want him to know," Jordan said. "I don't want him to ever know."  
  
"He didn't know you were pregnant. You didn't even know."  
  
"Yeah and if I'd told him, he'd have come back in a second. I know that. My dad, Lily, and everyone else told me that, along with what a rat bastard he was for leaving in the first place."  
  
"Did you wish he hadn't?"  
  
"Sure at certain times. The first time I ever felt the kids kick, the day they were born, their first birthday, Jesse's first word, when we found out Max was deaf and their was no way to help him, their first step, their first day of pre-school, and so many more things. Little moments that I wished he was there to share with me."  
  
"And other times?"  
  
"I never want to see him again."  
  
"When are those times?"  
  
"When I'm angry or sad."  
  
"Like when your father died," Dr. Stiles said.  
  
"Yeah. Like then," Jordan nodded. "It's been a year."  
  
"I know. You think about him?"  
  
"At least once a day."  
  
"What do you think he'd say about Woody being back in town?"  
  
"Before or after he kicked Woody's ass for abandoning his daughter and unborn grandchildren?" Jordan smiled. "I think he'd say that I needed to face Woody head on."  
  
"Really? You don't think he'd encourage you to stay away?"  
  
"The only thing Dad wanted to avoid a confrontation about was my mother. Everything else was fair game."  
  
"And is that what you're going to do?"  
  
"I don't think so. I don't want to see him. I don't want to face him."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because the day my kids were born, I swore I'd never go looking to rip open any wounds again. I don't want them to see their mother bleed." 


	4. Chapter 4

Jordan got off the elevator and was waylaid by Emmy as she passed the desk.  
  
"Dr. Cavanaugh?"  
  
"What's up Emmy?" She kept walking and Emmy hurried to walk along side her.  
  
"Your sitter called. She's sick."  
  
That stopped Jordan. "So, where are Jesse and Max?"  
  
"Don't worry. Lily went and picked them up. Nigel and Peter are showing Max a computer game while Peter practices his signing and Dr. Macy is teaching Jesse the finer points of jazz."  
  
Jordan smiled. "Okay. Does Bug need any help with his case?"  
  
"Yes, I do," Bug said, coming up behind them. "And I am very glad to see you."  
  
"Nice to feel needed," Jordan smiled.  
  
"Go change. I'll meet you in trace."  
  
"Be there in a few," Jordan called over her shoulder as she headed for the locker room  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Woody left police headquarters and headed for his car. It was a chilly February 14th and he had a feeling he was about to get a welcome that was just as cold.  
  
It wasn't like he wanted to go to the M.E.'s office to pick up the coroner's report. In fact he'd tried like hell to avoid this very thing. But the captain wanted Woody to stay on top of this and that meant picking up the death report personally.  
  
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~  
  
Jordan bit back a smile as she watched Jesse dance with Garret in the only true way a little girl could dance at her age.  
  
Jesse's feet were on top of Garret's as they moved around the office to John Coltrane's Blue Train.  
  
Jordan had a hazy memory of herself and her dad doing that to an old Frank Sinatra song.  
  
When the song stopped, Jordan clapped, "Look out Fred and Ginger."  
  
"Who are they Uncle Garret?" Jesse asked.  
  
"Get your mom to show you some of Grandpa Max's old movies."  
  
"Okay," Jesse smiled. "You are a very good dancer Uncle Garret."  
  
"Thank you Jesse. So are you."  
  
Jesse smiled.  
  
"Hey Moppet, why don't we go in my office and you can tell me about your Valentine's Day party? Max, Nigel, and Peter are still doing the computer geek thing."  
  
"Okay Mommy," Jesse ran and took Jordan's hand. "Bye Uncle Garret," Jesse called over her shoulder.  
  
"Bye," Garret smiled. He sat down at his desk after Jordan and Jesse had made their exit and started to look over the paperwork from his cases that morning. He had just finished signing something when there was a knock at his door. "Come in."  
  
"Sure about that?"  
  
Garret looked up. "Woody."  
  
"Dr. Macy."  
  
"I'd heard you were back in town," Garret turned his chair so he was facing Woody. "You look the same."  
  
"Thank you. You too."  
  
"What are you doing here Woody?"  
  
"I came to pick up a report on the body from this morning but I can't seem to find Peter."  
  
"I haven't seen him either. When I do, I'll let him know that you need the report. We'll messenger it over to you."  
  
"I need it now."  
  
"Wait here," Garret got up and went down the hall. He stuck his head into Nigel's office. "Peter?"  
  
"Yeah?" The M.E. looked up from the computer game he was watching Nigel play with Max.  
  
"You have the prelim report on the body from this morning?"  
  
"Yeah," Peter picked it up and handed it over. "Checking up on me?"  
  
"No, the officer in charge of the investigation is here to get it."  
  
"Really?"  
  
Nigel looked up. "Is that who I think it is?"  
  
"The one and only."  
  
"Can I give him the report?" Nigel asked with a grin.  
  
"No," Garret said.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because I don't want to have deal with INS when it's reported that you slugged an on duty cop."  
  
"I won't hit him," Nigel said. Then he realized a pair of eyes were staring at him. He looked down. Max was looking up at him. "Sorry Max. We're not being fair are we?" he signed to the boy.  
  
"No," was signed and accompanied by a frown and shake of the boy's head.  
  
Peter touched his arm. "We are sorry," was what he signed.  
  
"It's okay," Max smiled.  
  
"Thank you," Garret signed. "See you all later," he left and headed back to his office. "Here you are Woody," he handed over the report.  
  
"Thanks," Woody turned away from Garret's desk. "Nice looking kids. Who procreated?"  
  
Garret took the picture away from Woody. "Cousins of mine."  
  
"Oh. Well thanks for the report. See you around."  
  
"Right," Garret said.  
  
Woody left shutting the door behind him and Garret let out a sigh. He'd have to remember to put that picture away next time 'company' came in the form of Woodrow Hoyt.  
  
Next time Woody might notice the resemblance Jesse had to Jordan. 


	5. Chapter 5

Jordan loaded up a tray for one of the waitresses and smiled to signal that it was ready to go. Then she set out a bottle of beer and a glass of wine for the couple in front of her.  
  
"Enjoy," she said before she looked to the corner. Max and Jesse were still at the table. Jesse was playing with her fries but Max had finished his dinner and was drawing on his napkin.  
  
A smile crossed her face along with the quick prayer that an artistic streak was the only thing her son had inherited from his grandmother.  
  
"Trying to freeze them in time?" A voice asked.  
  
Jordan turned her head. "Hi Eddy," she smiled a little. "Usual?"  
  
"Yes, please," Captain Eddy Winslow took a seat. "So, how are ya?"  
  
"I'm okay. Didn't expect you in tonight."  
  
"Thought I'd see how you were, considering."  
  
"Is this about Woody or Dad?"  
  
"Well, your dad actually but since you brought it up-"  
  
"I'm fine. Woody doesn't matter to me anymore. I couldn't care less that he's back in Boston. I wish him all the best."  
  
"As long as you don't have to see, talk, or think about him."  
  
"Exactly," Jordan set down a beer and smiled. "Food?"  
  
"No, thanks. Jordan, you're gonna run into him."  
  
"Well, I think, at the very least, I'm safe here. He's smart enough not to come here. I hope," Jordan frowned at the door, as if daring Woody to come waltzing through it.  
  
"He was still working when I left. I think you're safe," Eddy told her.  
  
"Good," Jordan nodded. "Uh, lemme ask you something."  
  
"Shoot."  
  
Jordan leaned in close and quietly said, "Has there been any talk about me and the kids down at the station?"  
  
"None that I've heard. I'll keep my ears open if you'd like."  
  
"Could you? I'd appreciate it."  
  
Eddy smiled, "Sure Jordan. No problem."  
  
Jordan smiled back and straightened up.  
  
"Now, about the other thing that brought me down here."  
  
"You never quit do you?"  
  
"I'm a cop. It's ingrained in us to never surrender."  
  
"It's ingrained in the offspring of cops too. But, since you're asking, I'm okay. I miss him and," Jordan looked to her kids, "I wish they had better memories of him but I'm okay."  
  
Eddy took one of her hands in his, "I miss him too."  
  
Jordan smiled, "I know."  
  
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~  
  
Woody stopped before he opened the door and peered into the bar. He quickly located Jordan. She was behind the counter and she was smiling. Woody smiled a little himself. He'd almost forgotten how gorgeous she was when a smile lit her face.  
  
Almost.  
  
He was about to enter when he noticed the person she was smiling at. It was Eddy Winslow and if he wasn't mistaken, Jordan was holding Eddy's hand.  
  
He looked again, harder this time.  
  
He wasn't wrong.  
  
He turned around and walked back up the stairs. He got into his car and just sat there.  
  
He was being stupid.  
  
So, he was holding Jordan's hand. He was welcome to her. He was welcome to all the neuroses and obsessions that came with Jordan Elizabeth Cavanaugh.  
  
Woody bit back a grin. Eddy Winslow wouldn't last two weeks if the man allowed himself to be sucked into Jordan's world.  
  
He'd drive himself crazy listening to all the conspiracy theories and tangents Jordan liked to cook up.  
  
Woody leaned his head back. Thinking about this had inevitably led to the better parts of Jordan. The way she danced, her smile, and, most of all, what it felt like to wake up with her next to him.  
  
Yeah that Eddy Winslow was one lucky son of a bitch. 


End file.
